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Chapter 1: Week One - Opening Day!
Chapter One: Opening Day! Please forgive me if the matches, commentary, or promos aren't that good, I'm a beginner at this. If you have any comments, you are welcome to message me. If you want to send me a wrestler for this story, you will receive credit and if this story gets popular enough I'll make a wiki with all the wrestlers on it and copies of my chapters, just in case takes the story down, but that's only in case of emergency. Also, this is the only style I can successfully write anything... so please don't bash me on writing like this, k? If you have any advice or could offer any assistance to me, that would be greatly appreciated. Also, I got another thing to say. This is just a warning, DON'T BUG ME ON UPDATING! This is my first story and it needs to be written out at least five times before I finally let someone else read it and proof-read my copy. Alright, now that that's done, on with the show! The only people I own are... currently every wrestler in LBF... I'll make a listing of wrestlers available eventually... DISCLAIMER: I do not own Ed, Edd, n' Eddy... or a Wrestling promotion... or any of the advertising I use a commercial breaks... Wrestler Theme Songs will be in parenthesis for ease of writing... P.S. Huge thanks to Balle Kumar, from icomedytv.com, who wrote the "God as Manager" commercial! ---- LBF: The Lemon Brook Federation: February 7th *Here Comes The Pain V2 (WCW Lightning theme) plays as the intro to LBF. On the titantron, fireworks go off and the crowd is cheering.* Flinck: Welcome to the First Ever episode of the Lemon Brook Federation! I'm Jackson Flinck and this is my fellow commentator, Nick Prewitt. Nick, what's the line-up for tonight? Prewitt: Well Jack, our General Manager Damien wants to start filling our titles tonight and set up a match for the Light Heavyweight belt and the US title. Also we will be host to two World Championship Qualifying Matches and in one of them, a Tables Match for the Main Event! Flinck: Well, we'll being having a full night then. Two champions will be crowned and two others will know if they have a shot at the World title on March 3rd in our Pay-Per-View debut, Ides of War! Prewitt: Now, lets head to the ring and Stephanie Williams for the first contest of tonight's show! Williams: Thanks Nick... the following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first... hailing from Kyoto, Japan; standing at 5'10" 197 lbs... Yasuki Tanabe! (I can Slam a Tornado whirls its way around the old factory) Flinck: This guy came all the way from Japan to compete for a wrestling company, but since he couldn't join PCUW or one of the other big names... he decided to try-out for us. He could be somebody to watch out for in the future. Prewitt: I agree, he's crafty, smart once in the ring, and if he can connect with his Sensō Kick... he might just knock some teeth down his opponent's throat! Williams: Next, hailing from Tuxtla Gutierrez, Mexico; standing at 5'3" 156 lbs... Rocha Sousa! (I Came to Play by Downstait hums into life) Flinck: Cocky, arrogant, and untamed... that's what Sousa describes himself as. Nick, what do you think of him? Prewitt: Like everyone else on the roster, he is someone to watch for. We don't know just who could be our champions, after all. Sousa and Tanabe tap fists in the center before separating into their respective corners. Tanabe takes the first shot, aiming for Sousa with right hook before getting kicked in the gut then rammed into the ring post. As Tanabe recovers, Sousa sets him up for a flying clothesline but misses as Tanabe rolls out of the way. With Sousa recovering from choking himself, Tanabe hits a Sensō Kick! Falling for the cover. Ref counts; 1..2.. Sousa kicks out. Sousa gets up, blocks Tanabe from connecting with another Sensō Kick, and connects with his own big boot. Placing Tanabe in position for a frog splash, he climbs the ropes. Once Sousa reaches the top, he jumps and misses as Tanabe rolls out of the way. Tanabe connects with a clothesline, erupting from the corner. The cover... 1...2...Th- Sousa barely kicks out. As Tanabe pulls Sousa up, Sousa pushes away Tanabe towards one of the corners. When Tanabe turns around, he is hit with a Spear! The cover... 1...2...3...* Williams: The winner of this contest, Rocha Sousa! Prewitt: A win for Sousa, and that might have put himself out there as one tough nut don't you think? Flinck: Well, I think both of them deserve a round of applause for putting on the first match... but the best is still to come... the best is still to come. Prewitt: We'll be back with more wrestling after this commercial from our sponsor! ---- ***Old Spice Commercial: Hello ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn't me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he's me. Look down, back up, where are you? You're on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What's in your hand, back at me. I have it, it's an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I'm on a horse.*** ---- Flinck: And we're back! During the commercial break, General Manager Damien Garner came out to commend Sousa and Tanabe for their match and announced the stipulations for the title matches. It will be a Ladder Match for the Light Heavyweight belt... and a Decisions-Count-Anywhere Match for the United States title! Nick, what do you make of that announcement? Prewitt: Honestly, while I thought that tonite was gonna be interesting... this just confirmed those thoughts! I, personally, love Ladder Matches... especially Razor Ramon v Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania X. Any ways... for the ill-informed, a Decisions-Count-Anywhere Match literally means what it is called. A pinfall or submission could happen in the ring, in the locker room area... hell, if they wanted to start a war... they could take the fight to Peach Creek! *Crowd boos at the very mention of Peach Creek* Flinck: Why did you have to mention Peach Creek? *Prewitt raises his hands in the universal, I don't know sign* SIGH... Well, heading back to Stephanie for the next match. Williams: The following contest is a ladder match for the Light Heavyweight Championship! Whoever comes down first with the belt is crowned the inaugural Light Heavyweight Champion! Introducing at this time, hailing from Rome, Italy... standing at 5'7", 165 lbs... Daniel Ares Ishitar! (Cult of Personality by Living Colour plays throughout the arena) Flinck: This guy has a BIG ego, thinking that he instills a Cult of Personality in the world, don't you think so? Prewitt: True, he does have an ego, but lets see if he can follow through with his egotistical promise of being the best in LBF. Williams: Hailing from Eikarlundur, Iceland... standing at 4'11", weighing in at 114 lbs... Lucius Greece! (My World by Dale Oliver rings throughout the stands) Flinck: Okay... so both of them have issues with ego, but at least Lucius trained for the last 4 years in a Russian Wrestling school. Ishitar just started wrestling last year! Prewitt: You never know, Flinck, he might just be a natural. The match starts and immediately Lucius attacks with a clothesline, knocking Daniel off his feet. Disoriented, Daniel is unable to avoid a ladder as Lucius tips one onto his downed form. After this, Lucius thinks of a WONDERFUL idea! He goes beneath the ring, grabs a pair of handcuffs, and handcuffs Daniel to the ropes while he heads off backstage looking for a lift cart. The fans were left watching in wonder, shock, and confusion as Daniel gets the ladder off of himself but is unable to move beyond getting to his feet. As Lucius continues to hunt for a lift cart, Daniel notices that the handcuff keys are on the ladder! He grabs the ladder with his feet, pulls it close to himself, and, somehow, manages to get the keys in his mouth. Spitting the keys into hand, he unhooks the handcuffs just as Lucius is running towards the ring, not finding a lift cart. Lucius, startled to see Daniel unhand-cuffed, watched Daniel set up a ladder right beneath the title belt and place a table next to said ladder. As they both start climbing the ladder and reach the top, Daniel rakes Lucius' eyes... blinding him. With a smirk on his face, the fans clearly hear Daniel state that "we're going for a ride Lucius! A loooonnnggggg Ride!" before placing Lucius into a powerbomb and jumping off the ladder! Both of them slam through the table, Lucius though got more of the impact as he landed on his back and slammed his head into the metal legs of the table. After a few moments, Daniel managed to pick himself up and crawled to the ladder, pulling himself up each rung to the top. Daniel Ishitar then grabbed the belt off of the hook and came down from the ladder. Williams: Your winner and NEW Light Heavyweight Champion, Daniel Ares Ishitar! Prewitt: A win for Ishitar... and Jack, that was... Flinck: That was all Lucius' fault! If only the dumbass didn't go for a show-boat style victory, we would be crowning him champ instead of that arrogant egotistical jock, Ishitar! Prewitt: Obviously, we need a commercial break to cool down here. After the commercial break, we will be watching a cage match in all its gory glory to decide one of the competitors for the World Title at Ides of War! ---- ***A Balle Kumar Production: God as Manager. A God is like a manager who will never take the blame. He is just perfect and you are reporting to him and its always your fault. If there is something wrong going on then it is YOU who is responsible and not God. If you didn't cause it then you didn't take steps to stop it. If you took steps to stop it then you were not proactive enough to stop it from happening. If you caused it then is is either your actions or inactions. If you can't identify what caused it then it is your karma that caused it. If nothing then your manager is just testing you for some after life award. What is this after life award? Speculate! Speculate! Manager makes sure that the award remains a secret. No one who has got it can give an interview or write a reveal all memoir. He is remotely managing everything. No body knows where the 'remote' is. YOU work and then someone else get's your paycheck. It is again your fault, you didn't make sure that you should get paid or may be you didn't deserve it. What GOD does? What are his responsibilities? Does anyone know that? Worst, God never told us what we should do! Imagine being hired at a place and you don't know what to do. Yes... there are manuals called 'Religions', but they confuse you more. A manual often contradicts the other. If the manual doesn't get you killed then another employee who is reading some other manual might kill you. It is said that the Manager's son once showed up and got himself crucified for your mistakes. Mistakes which you could not have done because you were not even hired in the first place. Still worst, everyone fears a sudden promotion.*** ---- Williams: The following contest is a Cage Match for a chance at the World Championship! The only way to win this match is to either climb the walls or exit through the cage door. Introducing first, hailing from Brookfield, Wisconsin... lounging around at 5'6" and 124 lbs, he is Sebastian Faust! (Not a Stranger to The Danger) Williams: And hailing from Puutarhakatu, Finland; standing at 5'8" 114 lbs, he is Jonne Koho! (Hate Me plays, sending a clear message that this man does not care for public opinion) Prewitt: You calm now Jack? Flinck: Yeah, I think so. This should be an interesting match to say the least. Two wrestlers who know their ways around the ring, Faust is more of an aerial assault fighter while Jonne gets you caught up in a street fight, more used to using his fists to do the talking... you know what I mean P-man? Prewitt: Yeah... and never call me P-man again Flinck. The match is now under way! Faust and Koho lock up in the center of the cage. Faust ducked beneath a right hook and slammed Koho down like The Rock slams down his opponents, before going for one of the cage walls and starting to climb. Koho gets up, grabs Faust by his waistband and pulls him back down. Grabbing Faust by his hair, Koho slams Faust into the cage wall and drags his face across the wall. Faust, somehow, gets free and clotheslines Koho. Now free, Faust places Koho's head between his legs, preparing for an Empirical Bomb (Powerbomb). Koho reverses the finisher by throwing Faust overhead and dropkicks Faust's skull. Doing the same thing as Faust, Koho sets Faust up for the End Game. End Game (Canadian Destroyer) connects. Not sure if that finished him off, Koho grabs Faust and places him between the Cage wall and the ropes before battering him with punches to the lower back and head for about one or two minutes. Then Koho climbs up and over the wall where Faust's broken body is placed. Williams: Your winner and the first man to enter the World Title Cage Match at Ides of War, Jonne Koho! Flinck: A brutal beat-down by Koho and now he moves on to another Cage Match for the World Title. Prewitt: I just hope that Faust manages to recover from this match... Flinck: Faust is a tough man, Nick, he can rebuild and re-conquer! *Backstage* D'Arcy Giroux is on his way towards the apron for his upcoming match against Sanchez. Voice: Giroux! D'Arcy turns around to see Ishitar walking towards him with the Light Heavyweight title on his shoulder. Giroux: What do you want buddy, I have a match I have to win. Ishitar: One down, six to go Giroux.... we don't need the US title tonight, but you better get it before that night! You understand me, Gir? Giroux: I got you, I got you. For the.... Ishitar: What did I tell you about mentioning the name before we are ready?!? (looks around cautiously) Just win the dam title and we don't have to worry about it in the future. As Ishitar walks away from Giroux, you see panic settle in on D'Arcy's face. *Back Ringside* Williams: The next contest is a Decisions-Count-Anywhere Match for the United States Championship! Introducing first, hailing from Santa Clara, Cuba... standing at an even 5 foot 84 pounds... Carlos Sanchez! (Can You Dig It Sucka) Prewitt: Alright! Its time for the Decisions-Count-Anywhere Match Flinck! Flinck: You're absolutely right Nick, and this man, Carlos, I'm not sure he has what it takes to overcome his opponent tonight. Prewitt: I agree with you there. Giroux had a look of desperation on his face last night when he was told about having an opportunity to become the first-ever LBF US Champion. Flinck: Well his best friend, Ishitar, was chosen to compete in the ladder match earlier and obviously Giroux felt he would win. Also, did you see what transpired backstage? Obviously somethings going on.... and the US title is a part of it! Williams: And now, the other competitor, hailing from Springfield, Massachusetts... standing at 5' 2" 144 pounds... he is D'Arcy Giroux! (Mick Foley's WWE Theme) Without waiting for Giroux to reach the ring, Carlos rolls out to meet him on the ramp. The two start slugging it out at the top of the stage as the ref starts walking towards the brawl. Sanchez irish-whips Giroux into the screen before hitting him with a clothesline as Giroux bounced off the screen clenching his back. Sanchez walked back towards the end of the stage before turning and waiting for Giroux to get to his feet. As Giroux gets to his feet, he walks backstage with Sanchez being distracted by the ladies in the crowd. Prewitt: Seriously? At a time like this, Carlos is thinking with his other head? Flinck: I guess... but look at it this way, it gives Giroux time for a breather. Prewitt: True... wait, where IS Giroux? Sanchez finally realizes that he is still in a match and looks around for Giroux before hearing Giroux on the Titantron. *Camera switches views to the parking lot* Giroux: You want me Sanchez, come and get me! I'm in the parking lot just waiting! Sanchez sprints towards the parking lot, almost running over several fellow competitors (most notably the new LHW Champ Ishitar) before slowing down at the parking lot entrance. Sanchez cautiously opens the door and looks around. No one seems to be around.... that’s what the crowd thought too before a car came straight towards Sanchez! Barely able to throw himself out of the car's path, Sanchez is unable to block the kicks to his back and legs. Giroux picks Sanchez up and throws him onto the roof of the nearest car in the parking lot (Prewitt: HEY! That's my car!). Climbing onto the roof, Giroux places Sanchez into a facebuster and slams him straight down the car's roof with a lovely dent the size of a skateboard. The cover... 1...2...3... Williams: Your winner and NEW United States Champion, D'Arcy Giroux! Prewitt: Mmmmyyyy car! Why! Flinck: It was used as a weapon Nick! You knew as well as I do that our cars could be used as weapons during a match if we parked in the parking lot. I told you to park across the street! Prewitt: Let's hit a commercial break for a moment... I need to call a near-by auto repair shop to come and assess my car's damage. ----